I just had a straight guy tell me “Gah I love lesbians” and before I could even say anything, he added, “because, ya know, they like the same thing I do and sometimes it’s nice to get advice from a girl instead of guys who think making love is just repeatedly putting your dick in something, ya know?” And I have never been more proud of the human race.
i was very mad and then i wasn’t
sometimes i remember
and i cant stop laughing to myself
my favourite line comes right after that
so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums.
That. Is. Amazing.
why the fuck does everyone in the purge movies want to kill people if crime was legal i’d find a way to erase my student debt and also probably steal a bunch of new clothes
science side of tumblr, can you explain why there’s a void in my heart I can’t fill
remember that first live action scooby doo movie. where the antagonist was literally scrappy doo and he was stealing peoples souls, like actually really stealing and absorbing souls, and was planning on taking scoobys soul to rule the world with an army of demons and get revenge on the gang after they abandoned him because he kept peeing in the car, and near the end he turned into this huge dog monster
a real movie
you see this shit right here is why summers fucked. its 3am? i have no reason to sleep. at all. i just read a 65k fanfic in a sitting. i could start another. im not even tired what the fuck summer fucks me up so bad i need limits